Whatever it is, you should understand how to compare prices, how to do research via Consumer Reports , and how to make a smart purchase. How many of us just use our debit card without writing things down? How many of us pay bills online or have them set up to automatically be debited from our accounts and then sort of forget until they show up on bank statement? Being able to record your expenses is a skill that will keep you in touch with your finances. If you need to get a jumpstart on balancing your finances , try committing to write things down for a month and see if you notice a different in your spending patterns.
Coupons will save you so much money! Many of us would love to just toss receipts and forget about it, but a key component of being able to save, spend less and be fiscally savvy is getting your financial records organized and clear. This means tracking your expenses and writing down your budget. At any given time, you should be able to quickly ascertain where you are with your budget, what you have in your accounts, anything you owe, and your credit score. It will help you be honest with yourself about where you are financially. Once you have your debt paid off, understanding how to invest your money wisely is a huge learning experience.
Even people who have money to spare have trouble with investments and making that money grow. We all think about getting a great tax refund and what we might owe come tax time. While saving on taxes by doing them on your own can seem like a good idea, a tax professional can pay for themselves in spades. These people go to school to carefully study tax law. Find a proven professional by looking for an Endorsed Local Provider. This will ensure you find someone who is screened and comes highly recommended.
Learning how to trade , make an offer, and be comfortable with asking for a better deal can save you money. Challenge yourself to practice until you feel comfortable. Many service industry professionals rely on tips to supplement their income and bring home a livable wage. I think most of us want to be generous tippers, especially for good service, but sometimes doing a quick calculation can be embarrassing when it takes more than a few moments to figure.
Crafting not only a family mission statement but a personal mission statement can help you keep your focus on your most important life goals. We all have to learn how to prioritize the most important things each day, so we can take care of the most necessary and often the toughest tasks first. In the ER, doctors and nurses call it triage. Similar to understanding your mission, understanding your values and refusing to compromise on them will give you guidance through any decision.
Some adults still struggle with this, but finding the humor in any situation and even the joy in the toughest ones will get you far. Humor can help us deal with pain , stress and problems in life, and can help us find the silver lining. Gone are the days of Emily Post and worrying about being judged for failing to use the proper fork at the dinner table unless your family is VERY formal.
Like chewing with your mouth closed. And, for gosh sakes, clip your fingernails at home, not on the bus! Communication in a marriage or relationship and even with your children is very different than general communication skills. Words matter : they can be hurtful or beautiful. They can bring us closer to each other and closer to God, or they can rip us apart. Learning to think before you speak and listen more than you talk are communication tools that will serve you throughout your life and in all your close relationships. Learn to view your spouse through the lens of another human being with feelings, desires and wants that yes, may not always match your own.
Understanding the underlying motivations and emotions underneath it all and respecting them as valid will strengthen your marriage. Love is about buying gifts and spoiling your children and spouse, right? Love is about quality time , affection, expression and understanding. We all know what Hollywood and Hallmark say love is, but we also know love is about so much more. To love and to be loved is truly a life skill and something that takes work. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Why is this? Well, because people are finding that being emotionally intelligent can be just as important as understanding the nuances of engineering or physics. As the human population grows and we become more global in our interactions, being sensitive to others, understanding emotions and learning to harness them in a positive way can be a make or break life skill.
Fortunately, you can work on your emotional intelligence throughout your life and apply it throughout. Thank you cards are a bit of a lost art, but they really brighten the day of those who receive them. Writing a thank you note is simple: say thank you for x, y, z and tell the person how you plan to use their gift or the result of their help. Reiterate what it means to you personally and then close. To improve your problem solving skills, try brain-training programs like Lumosity or Fit Brains.
A critical thinking skill, synthesizing is the ability to combine parts of a whole in a new and unique way. Think of it like a chef—you can take different components of a meal, break them down, and then put them together in a new and delicious way. The ability to discipline yourself enough to make healthy choices about your food and exercise is a learned skill.
No one can be perfect all the time, but when you view exercise and nutrition as self-care, rather than punishment, it helps to reframe. Start with small steps, like taking a walk or adding a vegetable to every meal, and build on the positive. We get so wrapped up in caring for others we forget about the importance of taking care of ourselves.
This means yes, sleep and rest, which is simply critical to our health. It also means taking time for yourself—showering, dressing in clean clothing, putting on makeup, styling your hair, or doing what you need to do to feel clean, confident and at your best. Well, hopefully we at least brush our teeth. Give yourself a spa day or treat yourself to a luxury at home. Learn to pamper yourself a little. You deserve to feel good. The Good Life is about finding your happiness.
So often we forget our way to happiness. Happiness can literally make you live longer and can certainly improve your health and quality of life. What a great list! I had fun checking off skills that I had and finding ones that I need to work on. Great article that hits home. I need to acknowledge my lack of skills in the financial items and communication ones. Working hard to change that with good daily habits. Loving your articles.
This is a great list! Its amazing how many people lack a lot of these basic skills yet still go off to college or move away from their families, and then wonder why they struggle. As parents, we need to instill these qualities into our children so that they can grow up to be productive members of society.
Thanks for the list … great info to opening up my mind, to start helping me to set up my priorities … looking forward to the rest of this mini course …. What a great list of life skills! I definitely have mastered several on this list but could use some work in other areas…such as basic sewing. Thank you for spending the time to complete an actual list on how to make life a little bit easier. I wish I could put all 48 all over my house as a simple reminder to myself.
Great list! Thank you for a helpful list of ideas! Amazing list of life skill in this post, It is not always easy to remember all of these skills, thanks Ruth. I have realy learned a lot here and I feel iam nolonger the same. Thank you so much! Thank you for sharing it. I like that post! As a year-old, I too feel that many of these skills I would probably not have learned until after college. Thank you!
I enjoyed reading this post and I really enjoyed the funny faces your family made, they put a smile on my face early this morning. Thanks for sharing your gift with the world. Reading this, as a parent of adult children, starts a checklist for our annual family meeting. I would add, understanding your love language.
All 48 are very interesting. I can give 49 which also became useful to me. Academic assistance from this resource essayservicescanner. A lot of useful information, check your work for uniqueness and much more. And get a perfect set of tips. I have read this on time, when I was blaming myself for the life am having at this moment, but not any more am so greatful for all These tips are really useful! They are completely senseless!
Wonderful list! Most of the times we forget that we have some of these skills and just complain that we dont have enough. Thanks for reminding! I hope you make many more nice articles like this. Soooo cool! I woke up and later in the day I started thinking about this stuff. I found your site on Google and it toally answered my questions.
Thanks mucho much! Recipe Rating. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. And my mission is to find you practical solutions for everyday overwhelm. Find out more about what we do HERE. By acting in a way that demonstrates these different types of courage, and by fostering an environment that encourages them, you can make your company culture a courageous one where employees innovate and grow both personally and professionally. A former member of the U. High Diving Team, Bill is considered the originator of the new organizational development practice of courage-building.
Department of Veterans Affairs. The only questions are what and how much. Poor choices lead you into failure, and good choices take you out of failure. Nobody likes failure. We are lead to believe that failure means that there is something wrong with us. Failure simply represents a challenge; not something to avoid. We crave certainty, and that feeds our fears. The lesson of Fail More is to keep going.
But your purpose will compel you to keep going, adapt, and grow. Rowling, David Neeleman, and other well-known and not so well-known individuals, but he includes his own experiences that give it depth and credibility. Fail More will help you to work past your fears, the obstacles, set realistic goals, and learn from every result. Success is a process, and failure is part of that process. Failure gives you the critical feedback you need to make the necessary adjustments to bring you closer to your goal.
Life serves adversity as a barrier to entry in the pursuit of happiness.. Look within as you work to create value for people by first becoming of value to yourself.. Enjoy the fruits of your labor while you are engaged in their pursuit. We all start at a place where we need to improve if we are going to succeed on a more significant scale. Procrastination, lack of prioritization, and the absence of goals all have their origins in fear. In order to get what you want, you have to do those things that give you the confidence to do just a little bit more the next day.
Thomas Jefferson was skilled in many fields. In December , John F. Jefferson dined here alone. Jefferson cared for people and always offered advice when asked. A year before his death, he was asked by a father to give some counsel to his young son, Thomas Jefferson Smith. He responded with a letter that began:.
Monticello Feb. Th: Jefferson to Th: Jefferson Smith. The letter concluded with ten rules to live by Jefferson titled A Decalogue of Canons for observation in practical life :. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do to-day. Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.
Never spend your money before you have it. Never buy a what you do not want, because it is cheap; it will be dear to you. Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst and cold. We never repent of having eaten too little. Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly. How much pain have cost us the evils which have never happened! Take things always by their smooth handle. When angry, count ten, before you speak; if very angry, an hundred. The complete letter can be found on the National Archives website. Like us on Instagram and Facebook for additional leadership and personal development ideas.
H OW DO YOU stand out in your chosen occupation to get the respect, recognition, and opportunities you want and deserve, to achieve the success you want? Leadership and life are built on relationships. Despite any talent or education you may have, your ability to work with and influence others is what will set you apart. You need a plan. Why am I here? You are not a victim.
A specific purpose helps you also to align your actions to the purpose of others and your organization. It is nearly impossible to make good life choices with no self-awareness. A good place to get self-awareness is to watch the behavior of others. Often the behaviors that irritate you are mirrors of your own life. How do you impact others? Before you interact with others, begin by asking what is the desired result based on who I am, my purpose, and who I want to be? We have an impact on everyone we meet. How do others perceive us? Is that our intent? Does it align with our purpose? The other part of the Conscious Success Model is how we differentiate ourselves.
We have to be more proactive, more deliberate and consciously aware. This is conscious success. How am I presenting myself to others? Am I having the impact I really want to make? This, of course, speaks to having a healthy self-awareness. Each of these differentiators as negative and a positive side. Either side will get you noticed.
Avoid the side that will get you noticed for the wrong reasons. Differentiator 1: Authenticity. We mostly lack authenticity because we are trying to be what people want us to be in order to be accepted or popular. We are inauthentic to cover up for our insecurities. Authenticity leads to trust. Consistency matters. Differentiator 2: Work Ethic and Personal Responsibility. Decide that you are percent responsible for what happens in your life and everyone else is 0 percent responsible.
It might seem unrealistic to do this but deciding to be percent responsible forces you to move forward. Blaming and justifying limits options and percent to zero percent responsibility expands options.
Differentiator 3: Listening for Results and Connections. Ask questions with the intent of clarifying your understanding. Differentiator 4: Articulate for Impact. Closely related to differentiator 3 on listening is articulation. Have a good vocabulary. Before you speak, consider your emotional state.
Also, think about what your purpose is and what you are trying to convey. Differentiator 5: Humor. You can have a sense of humor, but it must be consistent with your image and what it is you want to accomplish. Differentiator 6: Gratitude. Gratitude is a choice we make each and every day. Having an attitude of gratitude gives you a positive outlook which makes you more attractive to others. It takes commitment, focus, and a force of will. The Conscious Success Model provides a useful framework for not only differentiating yourself but creating a life that matters.
The 9 Dimensions of Conscious Success is a great tool to put into the hands of anyone starting out in life. I N , Sir Isaac Newton presented three laws of motion. The first law is often referred to as the Law of Inertia. The law states that every object will remain at rest or continue in a straight line unless compelled to change its state by the action of an external force.
In other words, things stay the way they are unless something comes along to disrupt them. This law has the power to make us or break us. And it is at work in our lives all day, every day whether we are conscious of it or not. When we kick a soccer ball, it heads in a specific direction until it is acted upon by a force greater than the force that is currently propelling it downfield.
Like that soccer ball, our life is moving along a path that is taking us to a particular future intentionally or not. And we will continue along that path to its destination until we do something different. Our intentions mean nothing. In other words, our will be just like our unless we exert a force to change our direction that is greater than comfort we enjoy by continuing to do what we have always done producing the same results again and again.
No force, no change. Get on a new path. New actions will produce different results. For every cause, there is an effect. Today is connected to tomorrow. Every action we take and everything we say is taking us somewhere.
We just need to be sure we are on the path that is taking us where we want to go; a path that is taking us to the person we want to become. If we work harder than we did last year, then we will do better. If we sacrifice now, then we are investing in our future. If we reflect, then we will grow. If we improve our leadership, then people will follow us. If we are courageous, then we will inspire. If we are curious, then we will learn.
If we avoid the trappings of power, then we will stay connected with those we serve. If we surround ourselves with the right people, then we will be enriched and will lift others up. If we are authentic and humble, then we will build trust. If we work this law to our advantage, then we will eradicate regret. If we don't improve, then our circumstances won't improve either.
Life naturally pushes us off-course and takes us on tangents. Anything meaningful in life is produced by moving upstream — against the current. We need to make some course corrections. We all do from time to time. Of course, this implies getting uncomfortable. As we look at our life, we all have directions that need to be changed. It helps to begin this process by asking ourselves questions and giving serious and honest thought to the answers.
What habits are holding me back? What three things do I want to accomplish by ? What does a good day look like? What routines keep me on track? Why do I do what I do? And most importantly, what am I grateful for? Then drill down into specific areas of your life:. Do I make time to study and grow spiritually? What habits are draining my time and attention?
What activities replenish me? Am I taking time to relax and grow in other areas of interest? Am I sleep deprived? Am I eating healthy and avoiding processed foods? What do I need to change in my diet in ? Am I exercising regularly? Am I drinking enough water? Is my morning and evening routine setting me up for my best day? Am I living within my means? How much do I want to make in ?
Essentials of Time Management (Taking Control of Your Life) (Essentials of a Subject Book 2) - Kindle edition by Shyam Bhatawdekar, Dr Kalpana Bhatawdekar. Essentials of Time Management (Taking Control of Your Life) (Essentials of a Subject Book 2) eBook: Shyam Bhatawdekar, Dr Kalpana Bhatawdekar.
What do I have to do to reach that amount? What weaknesses do I need to minimize? Am I where I would like to be in my work or career? How can I increase the value I bring to work? What relationships are building me up? Are any relationships taking me off-track?
Who do I take for granted? Do I support those around me? Do I support and encourage others? Do I focus on building others up? Do I make time for others? Where do I need to grow? What strengths do I need to improve on? What do I need to learn? What books do I need to read? What seminars do I need to attend? What can I learn from the mistakes I made in ? The key to moving forward is the first step. Every destination needs to be broken down into incremental markers or indicators on the way to the destination.
What is the first thing you need to do to get you moving in the right direction? As you begin, focus on the actions required and not the end result. A small step is easier than a leap. Once the first step is made, it is easier to continue down the right path to your desired destination. Leading Matters is about the journey. The stories he tells here are revolve around the ten elements that shaped his journey and how he relied on these traits in pivotal moments. The elements are relevant to any leader at any level.
As he observes, the higher up you go the crises just get bigger and come faster. He begins by discussing the foundational elements: humility, authenticity, service, and empathy. He then links them together with courage. Finally, he shows how collaboration, innovation, intellectual curiosity, storytelling, and creating change that lasts, helped him reach his goals. Arrogance sees only strengths, ignores our weaknesses, and overlooks the strengths of others, therefore leaving us vulnerable to catastrophic mistakes. Authenticity and Trust. Authenticity is essential to building trust.
Leadership as Service. If you take a leadership role as a step toward a personal goal of gathering ever-greater titles, awards, and salaries, you will never see true success in that role. Recognize the service of others.
As a leader it is easy to get wrapped up in big projects and ambitious initiatives, and, in the process, to forget the smaller, but no less important, individual acts of service taking place all around you. Much of that service supports and enables the widely celebrated success of others. Empathy should always be a factor in making decisions and setting goals.
Empathy represents a crucial check on action—placing a deep understanding of and concern for the human condition next to data can lead to decisions that support the wellbeing of all. Courage, on the other hand, compels a leader to take that right action. While many people can discern what is right and true, acting on that discernment is more difficult. Even if risk-taking is against your nature, for the good of your organization, you must find the courage to practice it. Collaboration and Teamwork. Certain ground rules circumvented interteam rivalries.
First of all, I reminded everyone of our shared goal: we wanted to achieve something great. This led to my final ground rule: team members must be treated with the utmost respect. Innovation presents great opportunities for smart entrepreneurs, not the other way around.
Intellectual Curiosity. Beyond personal enjoyment, though, this lifelong curiosity has served me well in my career. It has enabled me to engage in meaningful dialog about the world and its future. In challenging moments, great leaders show their true character. If you really want to inspire a team to action, best to engage them with a story. Once they become receptive—once they can imagine themselves as part of your vision—you can back your story up with facts and figures.
When you turn that dream into a vivid story, you make it so attractive and so real that people will want to share it with you by joining your team. When it came time to respond to change, these companies moved quickly and efficiently, because every employee already understood the company identity and therefore knew how to respond without direct coaching. In every profession and career, as we climb to higher leadership positions, the role of facts and data decreases. Any one of them has the potential to derail even the best of leaders. While they may creep up on us, we can see them coming and apply the proper antidote.
And even though these seven challenges never really go away, we can create some life habits that keep them at bay. Nieuwhof writes from a been-there-done-that Christian perspective about the issues as they manifest themselves in our lives and follows up each one with a chapter on how to combat it. These issues affect everyone and some you'll find hit close to home. Cynicism Disappointment and frustration often end in cynicism. Ask them and they know all about it. It may get us in the door, but character is what determines how far we go.
Technology just makes it worse. Eliminate hurry from your life. And this comment could pull any of us up short:. For me, the sense that a conversation is going nowhere always carries with it an underpinning of judgment and even arrogance on my part. Which, of course, should drive me right back to my knees in confession. Irrelevance Irrelevance happens when what you do no longer connects to the culture and the people around you. That gap is a factor of how fast things change relative to you. Change staves off irrelevance. Get radical about change.
Surround yourself with younger people. Seek change to transform you. Burnout Burnout saps the meaning and wonder out of life. Signs of burnout include among other things: your passion fades, you no longer feel your highs and lows, little things make you disproportionately emotional, everybody drains you, nothing satisfies you, and your productivity drops.
Getting out of this state begins by admitting it and then figuring out how to live today so you will thrive tomorrow. What does that look like? Nieuwhof recommends some concrete steps you can take to bring you back from burnout. Go deep enough and take enough time to recover so that you begin to feel gratitude for the process. Emptiness Ironically, success often makes you feel empty.
Humility will win you what pride never will: the affection of others. Other people naturally gravitate toward people who live for a cause beyond themselves. The practical advice found here will benefit anyone on their leadership journey. It does not invalidate everything else of its type, rather it is designed to be simpler and thereby memorable and actionable on issues that really matter for people in the work environment. And it is quite straightforward for both accessing yourself and others you work with. Pioneers value possibilities and they spark energy and imagination.
Drivers value challenge and they generate momentum. Integrators value connection and they draw teams together. Guardians value stability and they bring order and rigor. The authors naturally go into detail on each of these types and give an example of a well-known person that fits that type. They also delve into difference between the types as they relate to stress Pioneers are the least stressed.
The trick of course, is to use this knowledge to modify you own behavior. Then you can determine how you might flex your own style to better match the preferences of those around you. For example, too many constraints can completely shut a Pioneer down, while a Guardian may withdraw in an environment that feels too chaotic. Knowing these trigger points can help you as a leader to give people more of what they need to excel and less of what will turn them off.
I might want to be direct with others but I have learned that I am more productive when I am diplomatic. But being that that is my natural tendency, I probably prefer when people are direct and concise with me. That fact would affect my working style profile. They prefer having all of the answers and enjoy zooming into every detail. They grew up in a different time and may have adopted a more novelty-seeking and relationship—focused orientation.
Without it we tend to be reactive, disengaged, an unimaginative. The more conscious we are, the faster we adapt, and the higher performing we become. Bob Rosen and Emma-Kate Swann wrote Conscious: The Power of Awareness in Business and Life , because they believe that becoming more conscious is critical in our increasingly disruptive and accelerating world. Driven by the need to be right, those obsessed with being smart tend to hoard knowledge, externalize blame, and mismanage relationships and risks.
This sabotages our ability to thrive in a constantly changing world. As a result, we stay stuck, biased, and reactive. Staying small and never stepping up is sure to lead to regrets and will undermine your highest potential. Harness the power of introspection by getting to know who you are, where you come from, and why you act the way you do. Get curious and adaptive: deal with complexity and paradox by learning how to expand your mind, leverage your relationships and networks, and overcome unconscious biases. Become more honest and intentional in leadership and life, overcoming the pitfalls of being too safe and cautious while embracing reality.
Act boldly and responsibly to reach your highest potential: how to champion your higher purpose, stretch people in constructive ways, and be generous in your relationships. To lead change you need a conscious mindset. If we are going to create change, we have to begin with ourselves. That requires that we become more conscious of what pushes us forward—our Accelerators —and what holds us back—our Hijackers. Accelerators like courage, drive or determination, deliberate practice, resilience, and vulnerability, drive us forward.
Hijackers like self-criticism, cynicism, controlling behavior, aloofness or disengagement, and hyper-competitiveness, hold us back. It is important to know how these things impact your performance and constructively use them or deal with them. There are many things that conspire to throw us off-course.
Knowing who you want to be in the world and remembering your purpose, will help you to manage these issues and keep you on course. The more conscious we are the less drama we will experience in our lives. Another consequence of being conscious is to be civil. Acts of civility are the small sacrifices we make for the good of all and the sake of harmoniously living and working together.
Barack Obama because "he's an Arab. He's a decent, family man, citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues. Conscious unleashes our full potential as human beings. By expanding our minds, enriching our experiences, and shaping our destinies, we discover our purpose in life. Being conscious enables us to approach life as a journey. Equipped with everything we need—an open mind and heart, confidence and resilience, and our capacity for greater consciousness—we embrace the uncertainty of life. Conscious is the accelerator for effective change. If you are a high-performer, it comes with the territory.
Graham offers 7 tips for overcoming Imposer Syndrome :. Quite that Inner Voice. Perfection is Slow Death. Mistakes can indicate that you need to prioritize, delegate, or take a break. Or they could just be mistakes. Honor Your Accomplishments. Perhaps you attribute your success to luck.
We are masters at believing negative feedback while shrugging off the positive. Take time to listen to praise from others and own it. Plan for the Worst-Case Scenario. Stay humble and curious. It will give you unprecedented depth in this day and age. Beyond what I'm sharing here, Switchers is an invaluable resource for those looking to make a career switch.
And this requires a different approach than the typical job search. She covers the five job search killers, networking and the 2nd Level Contact Strategy, rebranding your social media profile, and crafting your professional identity. Bias is a reality in the hiring process, and can be an especially difficult hurdle for Switchers.
Learn to identify it and engage strategies to overcome it such as using your network to become an insider. Your career story is what will convince the hiring manager to pull the trigger and make the offer. It should be logical, compelling, attention-getting, and genuine. You need to network to make a career switch. Second- and third level connections are where the action is! Most people in your immediate circle have the same information you do, so the goal is to get their network, because that is where your next opportunity lies.
Asking for help makes most of us uncomfortable and we often go to great lengths to avoid doing it. We fear rejection. We fear that people we think less of us. But the truth is we need the help and support of others to succeed. To be sure, leadership is fundamentally about asking people for help. Making matters worse, our intuitions about what should make others more likely to help are often dead wrong; our fumbling, apologetic ways of asking for assistance generally make people feel far less likely to want to help.
We hate imposing on people and then inadvertently, we make them feel imposed upon. But for some reason, we forget that when it is our turn to ask for help. Research shows that people actually like us more when they have been able to help us. It makes them feel good too—unless they feel compelled to help. In-Group Reinforcement. Those members of our group are the most likely to help us. The Positive Identity Reinforcement. Most people like to think of themselves as helpful because it is part of what it means to be a good person.
We reinforce that with gratitude and appealing to the things that matter to them. They need not bother. The Effectiveness Reinforcement. People want what they do to make an impact—to have meaning. If we feel we are not making an impact, we are likely to lose motivation. People need to clearly understand the impact of their helping. Research shows that when people are unable to get any kind of feedback about how well they are doing on a task, they quickly become disengaged from it.
Be clear up-front about what you want done and the impact it will have. And be sure to follow-up. Let them know how things turned out. Reinforcements is written in an engaging way and is full of solid research to support the approach needed to get the help we need to succeed. It is practical advice for anyone asking for help in a way that will leave both parties feeling good about the relationship. How many working hours of the average day do you and your team spend in the Drama Triangle? This triangle was developed as a social model years ago by Stephen Karpman, a student of Dr.
Eric Berne, the father of Transactional Analysis. It maps out a type of dysfunctional interaction that is common in the workplace and in our homes as well. Karpman used this triangle to define three points that arise predictably in any dysfunctional real-life drama: the Persecutor, the Victim, and the Rescuer. Notice that all three of these are roles we can choose to play, or choose to step back from , at any time. Here are three ways you could choose to respond:. The classic enabler. One classic pattern is: boss attacks Persecutor , people defend themselves Victim , other people come to their aid Rescuer.
Be honest. How often do you really want to do that? A lot of the leaders we work with are shocked to learn that most of their workplace interactions fall within this dysfunctional triangle! Start noticing that the Drama Triangle game typically begins with one person — it could be you — taking up the Persecutor or Victim role.
For instance:. If not, could you think of anyone else we can get to help you out with it? Leave people enough time to readjust before the deadline. Your responsibility as a leader is to support your people, start good conversations, and make good outcomes possible. The Drama Triangle goes in the exact opposite direction of all three of those goals: it disempowers your team, starts lousy conversations, and makes terrible outcomes much more likely. The only way to win this particular game to resolve not to play — and then stick with that decision!
He oversees the corporate direction and strategy for the company's global operations including sales, marketing, consulting, alliances, and support. Under Mattson's leadership, the Sandler organization expanded domestically and internationally to over offices in 32 countries. For more information, please visit the Road to Excellence website.
The Excellence Process consists of six steps that when taken in order and made part of your culture will turn excellence into a process and help to get rid of your blind spots. He has curated ideas from 45 internationally—known doers and thinkers on the topics of entrepreneurship, innovation, and authentic leadership. But here are several that I found interesting my first time through the book:.
We know that a startup is a temporary organization designed to search for a repeatable and scalable business model. The corollary for an enterprise is as follows:. A company is a permanent organization designed to execute a repeatable and scalable business model. Once you understand that existing companies are designed to execute, then you can see why they have a hard time with continuous and disruptive innovation.
It will happen especially in industries such as transportation, shipping, finance, and retail, but all kinds of companies and leaders should look into this much deeper. Of course, the big companies have an advantage due to the amount of data they often how. The startups lack this, and data is increasingly becoming king. Daniel Burrus: How to Anticipate the Future. There are an amazing number of things we can accurately predict when we learn how to distinguish between what I call hard trends, trends that will happen, and soft trends, trends that might happen.
Think of it as a two-sided coin. Agility is on one side, allowing you to react fast to unforeseen change, and the other side is anticipatory, allowing you to see what is coming and take action before the change occurs. Agility is basically reacting quickly to change. Agile innovation will keep you reacting to disruptive innovation created by others.
They are indeed timeless. Brian Dodd examines in Timeless Kindle what it takes to reach the top of your profession.
How do you become the best at what you do? How do you become an Apex Leader? Dodd has selected the 10 key practices that Apex Leaders have in common. While character, patience and empathy are important for a leader to sustain their leadership, they are not necessarily the behaviors and practices needed to get to the top of their chosen profession. Here, Dodd focuses on the achievement side of the equation.
What is required to be the best at what you do? While Timeless will resonate with Christian leaders, the principles apply across all organizations and contexts. As readers of his blog have come to expect, Dodd draws on many examples from the world of sports. All of these principles are found in scripture and are being successfully applied by Apex Leaders in organizations of all types.
Your team is your primary difference maker. Apex Leaders look for skill, work ethic and passion when building a team. Apex Leaders Are Humble Humble leaders do not deny their talents but are thankful for them. Humble leaders acknowledge that no matter how good they are, they are in constant need of support.
All successful leaders must be servant-leaders first. They acknowledge they have been granted opportunities not for personal gain, but for the betterment of others. Humble leaders know they have not arrived. The mission and vision of what they are trying to accomplish is too important to remain the same. Apex Leaders Continually Improve Are you willing to be rebuilt? Pride and arrogance are enemies of continual improvement.
Apex Leaders Form Strong Relationships One of the most impressive things about the leadership of Jesus was his continual focus on relationships. There is only one thing in your business which appreciates—your people. The most important relationship a leader needs to cultivate and protect is the relationship with their family. If you want to accomplish anything great as a leader, you must surround yourself with competent staff. Worth thinking about: Almost all important decisions made about you and your career take place when you are not in the room. So, always leave a trail of kindness and respect behind you.
Apex Leaders Make Others Better No matter how talented you are, you need someone who can make yourself better. Apex Leaders Show Consistency Organizations and their people suffer because of a lack of appreciation for consistent excellence. No athlete ever demonstrated consistent excellence better than the legendary Hank Aaron. We over-celebrate big results and under-appreciate consistent excellence. Aaron reminds us greatness is not always achieved through short-term spectacular results but sometimes through long-term consistency. Apex Leaders Lead by Example You cannot lead by example if you do not effectively lead yourself first.
Leading by example means putting the mission of your organization above your personal aspirations. Leaders who lead by example fight for unity. Delivering results requires preparation, decisiveness, talent, limiting unnecessary mistakes, energy, continual improvement, confidence, good health, and passion.
The biggest game. The biggest stage. A leaders character and people skills make someone want to follow them. The ability to deliver results determines if someone actually will follow them. By seeking out the experiences of others, we can grow faster with less drama. In The Book of Mistakes , Skip Prichard has created for us an absorbing fable of a young man and a young woman who are both part of a mysterious journey to learn the nine mistakes that tend to trip us up.
While they make sense, they are not always intuitive. The truths presented here often stand between us and success. The main story follows David whose life of promise has become ordinary. Through a life-altering event, he has a chance meeting with an Old Man who sets him on a journey that will take him to meet nine unique people who will share the nine mistakes and the impact these mistakes have had on their own lives. The nine mistakes are framed by three universal laws that are found in an ancient book of wisdom.
The parallel story is about Aria and how she comes to be the keeper of the book of wisdom and how she learns of the three laws. Printable Graphic. The three universal laws enable the nine secrets to creating a successful future. To avoid the nine mistakes, you need to:. Live your own dream. Recognize your inherent value. They set expectations. Reject excuses. Surround yourself with the right people. More forward through challenges with determination and purpose. Act boldly with the knowledge that your potential success is unlimited. Pursue your goals with urgency. You think about people, about loving those around you.
Your first is important because you also must have a longer view, or you will never accomplish the goals that are hard and take longer. Each mentor David encounters has their own story that illuminates the mistake they share with us. Their experiences help to identify and relate to the mistake and help us to take action to avoid the mistake in the future. Prichard brings a lot of wisdom to each of these common life issues. The story is engaging for young and old. Share this book widely because these are the kinds of mistakes that create regret down the road. At the end of your life these are the things that you look back on and wonder why no one ever told you about these pitfalls.
We are never too old to learn them and some are more difficult to deal with because of the baggage that often accompanies them. Now is the time to set your course. We work under the assumption that more is better. Morten Hansen thinks the way we work is broken. Not only that but how we manage and reward work, and how our culture recognizes hard work. What we call hard work may not be our best work. In Great at Work , Hansen reports on a five-year survey of 5, managers and employees, including sales reps, lawyers, actuaries, brokers, medical doctors, software programmers, engineers, store managers, plant foremen, nurses and even a Las Vegas casino dealer.
They discovered seven work smart practices. The first four involves mastering your own work, and the last three encompasses mastering working with others. Do Less, Then Obsess. The common practice he found among the highest-ranked performers in the study was that they carefully selected which priorities, tasks, meetings, customers, ideas or steps to undertake and which to let go.
They then applied intense, targeted effort on those few priorities in order to excel. He found that there were just a few key work practices related to this selectivity that accounted for two-thirds of the variation in performance among our subjects. Redesign Your Work. Redesigning work is about creating more value for the same amount of work done. The typical inside-out view, by contrast, measures work according to whether we have completed our tasks and goals, regardless of whether they produce any benefits.
The Learning Loop means you learn while you work. Doing great work requires that you are getting feedback every day. In his study, 74 percent of the top performers reviewed their work in an effort to learn and improve. On 17 percent in the underperforming category did. Aim for Passion and Purpose. You can have one without the other, but we should aim for both. You may need to take a wider view of what ignites you. Expand your circle of passion by tapping into these dimensions. Become a Forceful Champion. Getting our work done often hinges on our ability to gain the support of others. Getting other people on board takes more than just explaining the merits of your project.
The best advocates in their study master two skills in this regard. Not just grit, but smart grit. Enlist others to help move your project forward. They become lone crusaders for their efforts—and they exhaust themselves in the process. The ability to lead teams is crucial to great work. As a matter of necessity, much of this work takes place in meetings. The trick is to encourage constructive fights in meetings with cognitive diversity.
You must unite. Adopt Disciplined Collaboration. Hansen has identified two sins of collaboration : undercollaboration and overcollaboration. Some people talk too little, and some people talk too much across teams and departments. He recommends disciplined collaboration. Fresh and compelling examples are used throughout to fully illustrate the seven smart work practices. N OW is where the future happens. In this moment we will take action that will affect our future or we will not.
All we have is now. It is a flexible mindset so we can all learn to become a little more Nowist in our approach. One of the reasons that Nowists can see opportunities is that they are not stuck trying to protect their past; spending time and energy on something that no longer makes sense.
But they do possess a certain kind highly impulsive functional thinking. In a study performed at the University of Michigan on impulsivity, researchers found that there were two impulsive traits. And the kind that allows people to decide quickly with good results. They are good at deciding quickly under pressure and are willing to choose an option even at the cost of making a mistake that they can and are willing to correct as they go forward.
Nowists take control of their time. You can avoid procrastination by changing your learning to see your future in your present. They understand cause and effect. We all exist in the Now. It is only in the Now that we can think, do, or change anything in the future. A Nowist is an active optimist. They believe they can make good things happen and take action to create a better future. How does it feel to not be afraid?
Steve Sims, the founder of Bluefish , has built a company that gets things done. Bluefish makes seemingly out-of-reach, change-your-life, experiences happen. He calls it bluefishing. Bluefishing is about changing your mindset. Bluefishers look for connections. What are people passionate about and how can I find a win-win for their passions? Passion is something you have to discover—your own and others too. Bluefishers question everything.
Drill down for it.